Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Fa-La-La-La La-La La

It's Christmas Music Time!!!

I love Christmas music.  I always have (but only after Thanksgiving).  I know all the words to all the Christmas songs, even songs that aren't that traditional.  You could say I am obsessed.  Growing up, my family must have had 25+ Christmas CDs.  I think my all time favorite is Amy Grant's Home for Christmas.  I love to sing along to all the songs.

The only problem is I can not carry a tune, I can't even drag one behind me.  I am an awful singer, totally off key, off tune, off pitch, off everything.  My whole family suffers from being horrible singers, I think it is genetic.  I can't even stand the sound of my own singing, I know it is really bad.  So my solution is to turn the music up really loud, that way it drowns out the sound of my own voice.

My poor dogs are the only ones that really have to suffer through my horrendous singing.  When I go on long car trips by myself, I sing along to the radio to keep me awake.  I am surprised I have not driven them crazy, I am sure I hit notes that only dogs can hear, and the whole thing sounds like a sick cat.

I hope everyone enjoys the Christmas music this time of year, and I promise not to come caroling anytime soon.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Word of the Day

How was everyone's Thanksgiving?  Mine was great, the best part was getting to spend a week in our new home.

So, I would do a pretty Thanksgiving recap for you, complete with pretty pictures of the mouth-watering food and the beautiful company.  But I am going to be honest, I am horrible at remembering to take pictures.  My whole family is horrible at remembering to take pictures.  When I was little we would find an undeveloped roll of film around the house and finally take it in to be developed and we would find pictures from two Christmas's ago on it.  We are just not picture takers.  As my brother says, "I don't need pictures, I have the memories in my mind."

To prove my point, here is the only picture I took on Thanksgiving.

This would be Mike with his jeans tight rolled.  I am really not even sure why he did it in the first place.  I think I heard something about showing everyone why he couldn't wear skinny jeans because it would make his hips look big.  We discuss important things at Thanksgiving.

So, now, finally on to the point of this post.  The Word of the Day.  We invented a new word at Thanksgiving.  Are you ready for it?

Chat-Bitching - verb - when one is chatting with you but ends up bitching about something you didn't want to hear about.

I will use it in a sentence for you.  Sarah called me up just to chat-bitch.  OR  I think we just got chat-bitched by that salesman.

Usually you don't know you are being chat-bitched until after it has happened.  I feel this new word will be very useful in future conversations.  This may not be the best new word ever, but we sure did think it was hilarious at Thanksgiving.  People were crying they were laughing so hard.  Could have been the wine.

Well, I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Post from Starbucks

I am currently typing this post in a Starbucks near my house.  Why you may ask?  Well I will tell you, because I currently have no internet service at my new home, and Starbucks will let me use theirs for free (well for the price of a yummy non-fat chai tea latte).

I am so pissed at AT&T I could scream, actually I did scream earlier.  It didn't make me feel better, nor did it fix the problem.

We were scheduled to have our internet installed on Monday.  The tech came to my house and messed around with some stuff outside and then he came in and hooked his computer up and said that it all worked.  And then he left, now I know I should have made him stay and make sure mine worked, but I didn't.  So, I called the AT&T support and they told me that even though the tech had turned on the internet it would not work until after 8 pm Monday night because that was when it was scheduled to start.  Tell me how that makes any sense, it doesn't!

So I waited until 8 pm, still no internet.  I unplugged everything, reset everything, did everything I could, and still no internet.  So this morning I call AT&T again (their call service is very annoying, and no, I don't know the last 4 of my husband's social off the top of my head).  I explained my situation to several people and then my call got sent to India.  That guy was zero help, and didn't understand what I was telling him, so I hung up, and screamed again.

Then I called back and some call center woman kept trying to sell me other services.  Why would I buy another service from you when you can not get the current service I ordered to work?  She wanted me to switch my cell phone service and I told her no 3 times.  Finally, I got transferred to American tech support.  They put me on hold several times and then said they can't fix it from there.  So now a tech has to come to my house again.  Of course the soonest they can get anyone out to the house is tomorrow.  I screamed again.

Now here is the kicker.  If they deem the problem is on their end, the service call is free.  If they decided the problem is on my end, the service call will be $100.  Like hell I am paying them $100 for something they never got to work in the first place.  

I did a lot of screaming this morning.  I think my dogs think I am crazy, it's okay, I know they are crazy.

So, if I write you all another post from Starbucks, you will know AT&T has failed me once again.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Crazy Dog Update

As I have said before, my dogs are crazy.  Here is a little update on their shenanigans over the last week or so.

Last week we brought Cooper and Derby's kennel down to Pratt to our hotel room.  After being in the kennel (the one I thought they could not get out of because it has been reinforced several times) for only a short time, Cooper managed to pull the door in and let themselves out.  He then let himself out of the hotel room and was roaming the halls once again.  He did, however, forget to let his friend, Derby, out of the hotel room.  So Derby was barking as loud as he could because he got left behind.  How we have not gotten kicked out of the hotel I do not know.

In Cooper's great escape from his kennel he managed to poke a hole in his fur with a wire that was sticking out of the door.  His fur now looks like Swiss cheese because two weeks ago he tried to chase Derby through some barbed wire and cut himself up.  He now has four patches of missing fur.

Last weekend, while I was enjoying some time in Manhattan with Laura, my husband, Will, took the dogs to his parents house while he went hunting.  Derby decided that while Will and his parents were eating dinner he would eat one of Will's niece's shoes.  And as an added bonus, on Monday when I was just about to walk out the door for work, Derby threw up a bunch black rubber pieces.  I am guessing they came from the shoe.  Just what I wanted to clean up before I left for work.

If you haven't heard, it is hunting season in Kansas.  The hotel we stay at has been infiltrated with hunters.  To keep the hunters from cleaning the birds they shoot in their rooms the hotel has set up a bird cleaning station (a picnic table and a hose) behind the hotel where we take the dogs to use the restroom.  When I got home last night to take the dogs out one of the hunters told me to watch out because there were a bunch of quail and pheasant pieces by the cleaning station.  So I had to run around like a crazy person to keep Derby and Cooper from eating anything by the cleaning station.  I really don't want to know what constitutes bird pieces.

I promise we are good dog parents, our dogs are just an extra kind of crazy.

Welcome to my life on the road.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Let the Blog Off Begin

If you read last night's post, then you know that Laura from Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier, and I are having a  Blog Off.  We both went to Manhattan, KS together for the K-State game this weekend, and here is the long anticipated recap of what went down.

First off, I must comment on how epic is was for me to go to a K-State game without my husband.  I did not got to K-State (I went to Baker University).  I grew up a die-hard KU fan, in a die-hard KU family.  I rooted against K-State my whole life, until I met my husband.  Since that time I have gone to many, many K-State games, but this was the first one without him.  As I heard many times this weekend, "I am officially converted."

Laura and I met in Wichita and drove up to Manhattan on Friday night.  Once we arrived, we met Laura's friends (and my friends too) John and Lori at Hibachi Hut.  There we had some great food and few beers, of course.  After dinner we went back to John and Lori's and proceeded to sit on their deck and drink until 1 am.

John and Lori got a new puppy a week ago.  This has to be the cutest puppy ever.  The problem is John and Lori thought they had a girl puppy, that they named Stella.  Turns out they have a boy puppy, that has been re-named Porter.  (Sorry, no cute puppy picture.  I am sure Laura will have several.  Laura 1- Jordan 0)

Saturday morning we were up and ready to start tailgating at 9 am.

Here is our tailgating spot.  No, the recent earthquakes have not thrown the stadium off center.  My camera skills are just that awesome.  And I had a killer hangover from the night before.  What has happened to me!?!  I used to drink and get up the next day with no problem, now I feel like I am going to hurl.  But I could not show weakness to my fellow tailgaters, it is survival of the fittest.

So, I decided a frosty beverage would make everything all better again.  Like the snowman straw?  I did not drink my beer through a straw, I thought that would be a recipe for disaster.  Also notice the camo cup.  Laura and I were sans husbands this weekend because they were both hunting.  In all our drinking wisdom throughout the day, we planned an excellent ladies weekend for next year's opening weekend of pheasant season (can't wait).

You can't tailgate with out food.  Chocolate chip cookies are a healthy breakfast, right?  Then we moved on to lunch.

Isn't Laura cute with her hamburger?

I had a bratwurst, nom, nom, nom.

John needed a time-out so we put him in an adult sized Pack-N-Play, poor John.  

After many beers, lots of food, a little tailgate hopping, and much needed bathroom break.  It was time for the game.

The Band is ready. . . 


I am not going to try and be SportsCenter and give you a play by play of the game, but here it is in a nut shell.  K-State would get behind, and then battle back to tie it up, and then there was overtime (I will tell you about that), but first, Halftime.

We must go outside the stadium and replenish our beers.  It's been a long time since we last had one, and we are parched.  Look at those happy beer (I mean non-alcoholic beverages in a plastic cup) drinking people.

Will someone please shoo that homeless man away from our tailgate, he is digging through the trash.  Ewww!  John was actually trying to do a good deed, he just looked a little suspicious doing it.  Even his wife was ready to dis-own him.  He was collecting pop tabs for a charity, I just think he likes touching other people's empty beer cans.

After quenching our thirst, we went back into the game.  I hope you all got to see the end of the K-State v. Texas A&M game, because it was a doozie.  It went to 4 overtimes!  The crowd was one of the loudest I have heard at the stadium.  Every time the Cats were on defense we screamed as loud as we could.  Laura and I were both loosing our voices, but it was awesome!

And after 4 overtimes. . .K-State was victorious!


We were so happy, and exhausted, and filled with adrenaline, all at the same time.

If we were younger, and hadn't drank so much the night before, and hadn't drank all day, and didn't have to get up the next day, and didn't have a cute puppy to go home to (I know excuses, excuses), we would have gone to Aggieville to celebrate the win.  But instead we went home.

That was a pepperoni pizza.  It's a good thing the delivery guy got out of the way in time or he would have lost a limb.  And then we were fat, and happy, and sleepy, and went to bed.

The next day Laura took some amazing Senior pictures of Lori's niece.  I was the photographer's assistant.  The coolest part was we went down on the football field to take pictures, and got some pictures ourselves. (Again, I have no pictures, and Laura does.  Laura 2 - Jordan 0)

Now here is some randomness from the weekend that I just didn't quite know how to weave into my story.  So get ready for some fast and furious craziness.

The death of a hotdog.

Someone thought the dog looked cold.

And then someone went too far.

Yep, those are mustard balls. 

A few things overheard this weekend:

"I am not a ding ding professional."

"I think I just snotted all over myself."

"Just monkey-splatter the grout."

"Do you want me to bring a ding ding home."

"The left boob cost me $5."

Yep, that's just your normal everyday conversation topics, ding dings and money splatter and boobs. 

So now go check out Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier, and let us know who has won this epic Blog Off.

Laura you are going down!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Let the Games Begin!

This weekend, my friend Laura and I road tripped it to Manhattan, KS to watch the K-State football game.  Since we both have blogs (Beer, Dogs, and Getting Healthier), we decided the only way to report on this weekend's activities was to have a Blog Off.  That's right, blog-against-blog, who can tell a better story of what happened this weekend.  And we have pictures to back up the stories we tell.

It will be like one of those epic rap battles
Except, we're white. . .
and from Kansas. . .
and we can't rap. . .
and we are blogging. . .
about a football game.
But pretty much the same after that.

Check back tomorrow for the blow-by-blow of Laura and Jordan's Excellent Adventure, and let us know who you think wrote a better weekend recap.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Ready for Take Off

Last week we moved into our new house.  I LOVE our new house.  This week I am back in Pratt working, and I miss our new house.  :(

Little did we know when we bought the house we were also purchasing a rocket ship/time capsule/shower.

 Welcome to my master shower.

When we were purchasing the house, one of the few things we were worried about was the shower in the master bath.  It was new and all, but it wasn't very big.  Well, the size of the shower is not really a problem, but figuring out all of the knobs, buttons and spray heads has been an adventure.

The shower comes with a remote!  That's right, I can turn on all of the bells and whistles before I even step inside.  There is a built in radio, lights, fans, a steam function, foot jets, rain shower, hand held sprayer and a row of jets behind the seat.  There is a little touch screen inside the shower to control all of this, and I think I saw a little phone icon on the screen one time (I don't know when I would ever want to take a phone call in the shower).

Now the really funny part has been my husband and I trying to figure out how all of this works.  The first time my husband turned it on, water shot out of the back jets and sprayed us and the whole bathroom with water.  When I got in the shower for the first time I am pretty sure I sprayed myself in places I was not prepared to be sprayed.  I have been too afraid to use the back jets or foot jets yet.

Now if you notice in the picture above, you can see the reflection of my leg.  Yes, that's right, two walls are mirrors.  I don't really need to see myself in a full length mirror while bathing.  Luckily, these mirrors fog up most of the time so I can't see myself.

Also, this shower is completely enclosed, because it is a steam shower (not a shower for those who don't like small places).  Which is great while you are in it, you never get a draft.  But once you slide back those two doors, the bathroom is still freezing cold.  It is kind of a rude wake up after a nice shower.  I am sure I will not enjoy that part in the winter.

One final thing, the shower has an alarm in it.  Not really sure why, but my husband thinks it is pretty funny to turn on.  He said he is going to use it as my wake up call in the morning when I need to get out of bed.  Not my idea of a happy wake up.

Beam me up Scotty!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Mind the Gap

Let me tell you a little about my love/hate relationship with Gap jeans.  I have been wearing Gap jeans since high school.  I have always loved them.  They are classic, fit well, and were one of the first stores to carry longs (I am pretty sure I looked like I was preparing for a flood most of my childhood because I grew out of pants so fast, or they were never really long enough in the first place).

Anyways, in the last few years Gap has changed the way they make their jeans.  They now have stretch in them or something.  The sales people even tell you to buy a size down because they will stretch out as you wear them.  I think this is a little ridiculous, don't most jeans stretch out as you wear them anyways.  Well I still buy Gap jeans, and I always start out my day with tight jeans that fit properly and by the end of the day I have what I refer to as "saggy ass."  I do not need my jeans to stretch out 3 extra sizes to be more comfortable, it just makes my butt look weird.

Speaking of my rear, what has happened to it lately.  I always thought I had a nice looking behind, but lately it seems wider.  I sure this could be from sitting all day, my lack of exercise, my less then stellar diet, the fact that I have recently turned 30, or all of the above.  But I digress.

I wish the Gap would just go back to making regular jeans and not magical growing jeans.  And while they are at it, can they just go back to selling the cute basics they always sold.  Lately I never find anything I like at the regular Gap.  Now the Gap Outlet is a whole other story, I always walk out with a huge bag of clothes (like the one I did last Tuesday, new sweaters!).

I would post a picture of the current "saggy ass" jeans I'm wearing to illustrate my point, but you don't want to see that on a Monday.  Hope your Monday went better then mine.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Power of Craigslist

So, if you haven't heard the news. . . we moved!  We are no longer Texans, and once again Kansans.

First, I have to say a big THANK YOU to my mom.  She rode down to Texas with us and helped us pack, and then rode back and helped us unpack.  As she informed us, this was not the first time she has helped us move.  So, if you need an wonderful packer to help you move. . . don't call my mom.  She said this was the last time she was helping us move ( I think I have heard that before).

Anyways, Craigslist is amazing.  I kinda knew this already.  We have sold many pieces of furniture on Craigslist in the past.  But this sell was really, truly amazing.  On Sunday when we were packing up our place, and we decided that we didn't want to move our washer and dryer all the way back to Kansas.  Here is the timeline of events.

12:00 - We decided not to move our washer and dryer.

12:30 - We post a listing on Craigslist for our washer and dryer.

1:00 - We realize we didn't get the listing uploading correctly from our cell phone.

1:15 - We finally get the washer and dryer listed.

1:16 - We start receiving a million phone calls and emails from people wanting the washer and dryer.

1:40 - We receive an email from a single mom who wants us to give them to her for free, and then she emails again and says her husband's pay check didn't come on time. (How are you a single mom and have a husband?)  Her story got crazier and crazier.  Lesson learned here: If you are going to lie, keep the story simple.

3:00 - The guy who called first shows up and loads the washer and dryer on his truck.

4:00 - We close up the truck and leave for Kansas.

I was so excited to list, sell and have our washer and dryer hauled off in under 3 hours.  But not nearly as excited as when these beauties were delivered today.

I am sure doing laundry will be exciting for about 5 more loads, and then it will just be laundry again.